It's only a day late, so I'm still making good on my promise to put more of these mini-blogs up. Here's one I made up while visiting Saugerties, a charming antique-laden River town with even more charming and antique people. I met a wandering rapper that night. I forget his named but he rhymed gravy and Old Navy right at the end of his 'rap session'. For some reason I turned down the offer to bump nasties with one of the badonkadonk girls that were randomly at his apartment. He said the two of them were too much work and needed someone else to help him out. It was quite apparent that he was strung out from not buying any Depression glass bottles that day.

During my recent trip to the grocery mart I had sex with an avocado, spit on the help, and tossed a salad or two. Needless to say, my coupons had expired the day before.

Even I was expecting one about the crazy rapper dude, but I'm betting I didn't know how to put that meeting into words. I did however, capture the action of college hockey with words. The game was tied at 0 until the last few minutes of the game. After halfway I couldn't take anymore - and decided to express my rage through my thumbtip (that may not be a real word, but I spelled it right).

College hockey is so insanely boring that I'd rather be naked on the disease filled streets of Bangalore while trying to shake off the worst hangover I've ever had. Seriously. Throw some padding on Ostriches and you'll see better puck control.

That only took me a few minutes - the game still had an hour left. I felt like I had some time to waste so I prepared something a little more random and tasteless.

I wish I contrived the HIV as a fetus. It would be a much easier story to tell everyone. Each time someone asks how I got it I have to explain how I had to suck off truck drivers to afford my next 40 of Michelobe. I would never stoop as low to drink malt beverages.